When a Part of You Is Talking - Emotional Healing with Acupuncture and IFS

Emotional Healing - What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?

Have you ever caught yourself saying something like, “A part of me wants to do this… but another part of me is scared”?Most people assume this is just a figure of speech—but Internal Family Systems (IFS) takes this everyday experience seriously in a remarkably compassionate and healing way.

IFS is a gentle, evidence-based therapeutic approach that helps us understand the inner landscape of our emotions, beliefs, and protective patterns. Instead of trying to “fix” ourselves, IFS invites us to get curious about the many parts inside us—each one trying, in its own way, to help.

What Is Internal Family Systems?

IFS, developed by the truly wonderful Dr Richard Schwartz, is based on the simple idea that the mind, and its nervous system, is naturally multiple, and that this is not a problem—it’s actually a strength. And it helps us access parts of us that hold emotional charge without getting absorbed by them. This little bit of distance, between us and the part is the crucial bridge that helps us transform old pain and patterns no longer serving us.

Just as a family is made of different people with different roles, your inner world contains different parts:

• Protector parts that try to keep you safe – they emerge in result of trauma or a negative experience as a way to cope. An example of a Protector part could be overreacting in defence when we anticipate someone might say something hurtful, worrying in excess to stop ‘something bad happening’, or even a harmful behaviour like addiction that numbs pain it perceives is unbearable.

• Vulnerable parts that hold old pain – known as the ‘Exile’...these parts are often young and stuck in time, unaware that life has moved on. They are fiercely guarded by the protector parts – we do not access the Exile without full permission from our Protector parts.

  
  

And then there is You—your core Self. Calm. Compassionate. Curious. Whole. It’s this core self that cannot be damaged by trauma or negative beliefs. It is available to us always. But often, we lose connection to the core Self, and get hypnotised by the programs being run by the very loud Protector parts.

IFS believes everyone has this Self and that, when you connect with it, healing becomes natural and organic. We start conversation with the inner Parts, asking them what their role is, and what they need to evolve that role. We help the system move on from old, outdated and potentially draining and damaging patterns that no longer serve us, inviting the parts to be involved in the process rather than silencing them, or analysing them to the nth.

A Gentle Approach to Healing

One of the reasons IFS feels so soothing is that it never forces change.Instead of battling with anxiety, shutting down sadness, or trying to “outsmart” fear, IFS teaches you to listen to these parts with kindness.

Imagine noticing an anxious part and—rather than judging or suppressing it—turning toward it and asking, “What are you afraid might happen?”The shift is profound.

In IFS:

• No part is bad.

• No emotion is wrong.

• Every part has a positive intention—even if its strategy causes pain.

This perspective alone brings relief to the nervous system.Rather than bracing against yourself, you learn to work with yourself.

Why It’s So Nervous-System Friendly

IFS is built on safety, slowness, and connection—three things your nervous system naturally responds to with ease.

• It reduces inner conflict, lowering stress hormones and internal tension.

• It encourages self-compassion, which activates the parasympathetic “rest and restore” response.

• It works at your pace, never pushing parts faster than they’re ready.

• It honours protective parts, helping your system feel respected instead of overwhelmed.

  
  

People often describe sessions as peaceful, grounding, and surprisingly gentle—even when working with deep emotional wounds.

Powerful Yet Soft: How IFS Creates Real Change

IFS may feel gentle, but its effects can be profound. By meeting your inner world with compassion, parts that carry fear and pain finally get the support they’ve been longing for. This leads to:

• Less emotional reactivity

• Fewer old triggers

• More clarity and confidence

• A stable sense of inner harmony

• A deeper connection with your authentic self

  
  

IFS doesn’t just help you cope; it helps parts of you truly heal.

A New Way to Relate to Yourself

At its heart, IFS offers something many of us have never been taught:

How to be with ourselves in a fully supportive, non-judgmental way.

Next time you’re struggling, you might notice a thought like:

• “A part of me is overwhelmed right now.”

• “A part of me really wants comfort.”

• “A part of me is trying to protect me.”

And you can respond with:“Oh, hi there. I’m listening.”

This simple shift—recognizing that it’s a part of you, not all of you—creates space, calm, and clarity. It opens the door to healing.

I use an IFS-based approach in practice when we are approaching nervous system regulation and emotional healing. Having trained in a number of IFS modalities, with Fran Booth and Frank Anderson, it really landed with my system when I trained with Queen of nervous system regulation Deb Dana and IFS expert Alexia Rothman. I now combine somatic and traditional IFS to help give words to the parts of the nervous system seeking change, completing the session with empowering acupuncture points, helping your system settle into the new programming that was accessed.

It is gentle but powerful work.

If there’s one thing IFS wants you to remember, it’s this:

Every part of you is welcome. Every part belongs. And every part is willing to change if it helps us feel better.

And, above all, the powerful, unbreakable Self is always there, at your core.

For more information, check out:

www.acupuncturewithfiona.com