The Journey to Embodiment – The Real Reason We Are Here

‘The longest journey you will ever take is from your head to your heart’

– Gary Zukav, author of ‘Seat of the Soul’

I talk about ‘embodiment’ a lot. It’s an important term in my work. But it’s one of those phrases that gets thrown around a lot, as if we should all know what it means. Do you know what it means? I certainly didn’t. I would attend feminine essence workshops and trauma trainings and wonder what the hell they were talking about. Embodiment was one of those phrases like ‘letting go’... sounded simple, but no-one ever elaborated. 

But you know me, never happy until I understand something from the inside out...so on a journey I went!

To me, to be embodied is the very essence of our earthly walk. It is why we are here. It is the journey back from feeling separate and detached, to feeling and being fully present, fully comfortable in our bodies, and fully aware of our shared place in the big soup that is this universe. It is to reconnect our minds to the rich, intuitive wisdom and creational power of our bodies. To really FEEL life through the body, not just interpret it through the mind. When you are ‘embodied’ your conscious attention is on the present moment, experiencing the world with no judgement, free from fears, from triggers, just the richness of the now moment and the magic of this universe. It is to live from the heart instead of the mind.

It is also the only way we can connect with our POWER, our lifeforce, our Shen – the infinite source of potential that flows through the universe powering creation. I call it the Sparkles - you feel it deep down in the body, radiating up through every channel and every organ. The Sparkles are the seeds of creation – it is how we manifest, how we work magic in a mundane world.

Now, reading that, we might start to realise how DIS-embodied we are...

Most of us can recall connecting to the powerful lifeforce every so often, even just for a millisecond, these little sparkles, glimmers that shoot up with a surge of creative potential. But let’s be honest, that supercomputer that sits in our skulls gets the most attention, right? Feeling gets pushed aside for thinking, analysis, strategy and problem-solving. That’s all fine, except nothing gets created here, from the mind. Until something is EMBODIED it stays in the mental plane...imagined but not realised.

There is a disconnect. We all feel it - like our bodies are one place and our mind is another. Why is this? Why do we find it hard to FEEL, but very easy to THINK?

Try it now...breathe into your body, bring your awareness into your heartspace and rest it there, notice how it feels in here, in the dark interior of the somatic realms. What sensations are you experiencing? Do you like it in here, or does it feel strange and foreign? Maybe living through our bodies feels a little unsafe, too exposed? Maybe we feel safer observing life from a distance, through the mind’s eye first? Assessing for risk before we leap in? That’s very possible, because the body also stores a lot of emotional memory. It’s here we stash our shadows, the uncompleted and unresolved upsets. And it can be an intimidating forest to wander into...

When we were children we were fully embodied...at least in the very early years. Fully present in the now moment, trusting, absorbing life through the senses of the body – watching, touching, tasting, hearing, smelling. But things change as we go through life. We get burnt a few times, in a trauma-sense, when life gives us its inevitable painful experiences. And the critical mind, via the nervous system, starts to build a fortress of protection around us. We start to retreat from being fully present, into a ‘safer’ mind-based, ‘safety-first’ way of being. Observe first, connect later. It sounds sensible, right? Until we realise the full enjoyment and expression of life requires us to FEEL IT, requires us to be EMBODIED.

Signs we may have slipped into a dis-embodied state of being could include:

-       Feeling numb and closed off.

-       Low energy.

-       Short attention span/easily distracted.

-       Overthinking and stuck in your head, overthinking and worrying.

-       Not remembering much of the day’s experiences through the senses – what did you hear today, what did you smell, taste, touch?

-       Dissociating and seeking outward distractions - frequently checking social media, zoning out, internet shopping, excess food, tv, alcohol.

-       Low on pleasure.

-       Feeling triggered or threatened by others rather than connected to them.

-       Feeling uncomfortable with stillness and silence.

-       Everything feels like a struggle and effort, there is no flow.

Whereas signs we are EMBODIED are delicious!

-       Feeling enthusiasm, inspiration and excitement about life.

-       Noticing beauty in everything.

-       Feeling energised.

-       Feeling motivated.

-       Creation flows with ease.

-       Feel enormous resilience and bravery.

-       Feel loving connection towards others.

-       Rich, rewarding relationships.

-       Compassion for the self and other.

-       Huge capacity to experience pleasure.

-       Ability to bounce back from hardships.

-       Feel at home in your body.

So how do we become more ‘embodied’?

The problem exists when we try to think our way out of discomfort. When we feel emotional discomfort, we tend to analyse it, talk about it, trying to find logical reasons for its existence. After all, trauma therapy has traditionally been ‘top down’. But things are changing, for good reason.

You see, trauma doesn’t actually live in the mind.

As trauma psychology expands, researchers such as Bessel Van Der Kolk and Peter Levine are helping to change the way we process emotional burdens, moving from a top-down approach and into the body. This approach is referred to as somatic – relating to the body as distinct from the mind. Instead of seeking the source and solution to uncomfortable feelings in the mind, we lean into the body and start feeling the feelings out.

According to Van der Kolk, trauma is an umbrella term for any ‘event outside of the normal human bounds of experience’. It is anything that upsets us emotionally and triggers a nervous system coping response. He says the urgent work of the brain after a traumatic event is to suppress it, through forgetting or even self-blame. It is a powerful lens through which we now view trauma. In his ground-breaking book The Body Keeps The Score, Van Der Kolk states whilst the brain tries to supresses the painful event, ‘the body does not forget, and physiological changes result, recalibrating the brain’s alarm system, increasing stress hormones, and altering the system that filters relevant information from relevant’.

Trauma, when unresolved, changes the way we view ourselves and the world around us. We forget what really happened and paint over it with cognitive distortion. And it makes our bodies very uncomfortable places to be. So if the truth of trauma is stored in the body, talk therapy is limited – the rational mind cannot do the repair work on its own. Instead, to access real emotional healing, we have to talk to the body.

This should always be done at the pace the body, mind and nervous system feel comfortable with, as we do during the Transformational Acupuncture process. We are learning to trust ourselves again.

Want to try a few things at home to get back into your body and restore the connection to your lifeforce? The simple practices below will help us feel safer living life through our bodies. They build space for pleasure to coexist with other feelings. In this way we start to balance the burdens a little – our nervous systems learn that it’s not all so bad after all, there is space to feel good. And this will start to build a greater and greater capacity for pleasure and peace over time.

Daily Embodiment Practices

-       In the morning, take time to notice things...is your bed warm and soft, how does the water in the shower feel on your body? Smell your coffee before you drink it, that deep rich aroma. Feel the texture of your clothes, are they soft?

-       On a walk, take your shoes and socks off in the forest, on the beach or on the grass, and pause to feel the millions of tiny feelings from the earth through the soles of your feet.

-       Do you zone out whilst driving? Turn off the radio and try to notice 5 new things on the journey you never noticed before, paying real attention...what was the expression on the face of the person at the crossroads, what is the registration number of the car in front of you, what sounds can you hear?

-       Place a hand on your chest, notice your heart beat, dud-dud, dud-dud...faithfully beating all the time, without rest, fuelling your body and sensing the world - your heart is our most important ‘feeling’ organ, it’s good to check in.

-       Look at yourself in the mirror – notice the rush of harsh commentary that comes forward, observe without judgement and wait for them to pass, and then look deeper into your own eyes, at your face, at your body, feeling gratitude for this incredible vessel that loyally carries us even when we talk mean to it.

-       Pause to touch – pet the dog, draw your hand along fresh bed linen, feel the skin on a piece of fruit...how do you feel doing it, calm?

Helping our bodies release the burden of trauma is important work. It creates spaciousness through which we can experience safety and pleasure. This means our true lifeforce can now come forward. We come back into our bodies. It is to realise, fully and completely, our worthiness, that we are enough, that we are safe, and that we belong. It is the path to true self-love and to the powerful creative force with us.

It might be the longest journey we’ll take, but that’s a walk worth taking, right?